reality

Sometimes, its not easy. Sometimes, i don't trust you. Sometimes, i dislike you. Sometimes, you really hurt me. But i will always love you. i hope you'll always love me too.

update.

i love him more today than yesterday. that's all that matters. we're in love. i've never felt like this...and i welcome the challenges and changes. i'm glad for what the universe has in store for us. i hope each and everyone of you can find a love as wondrous. i'm going to close this blog here. it's served it's purpose. i made the decision to follow my heart...i pray you all will do the same.

truth

I'm still going through the storm. This isn't easy. I knew it wasn't going to be. There are so many circumstances beyond my control. Maybe I have just lent myself to their rapture. I am caught up in this whirlwind that I have created. I'm trying to maneuver it, but the nature of nature is that I can't control or predict how someone reacts. I just want to scream: "FUCK."

our story

It begins.

He was born 1 year and 11 days before me.

we were born on opposite sides of the world

he the sun

I the moon

together

we made each other's day

the story starts...

It's the summer of 2004...fate drew us together

We met at the last stop on the E train.

[to be continued...]

the start

I told him it was over. I gave him excuses. But the truth remains that our love was a deciding factor. No longer could I hide our love behind my kisses or hugs. The contradiction of my heart in contrast to my actions weighed heavily on my soul. I had to leave. Although not much has been planned, although much is uncertain; I am certain of one thing: Our Love. And this is the beginning. A step closer to my bliss.

I have closed my eyes and envisioned our life together. I find strength in you. Us...five years in the making...our children will be testaments to the greatest love story we could imagine.

smiles

I spent the weekend counting your smiles and listening to your dreams for us. I have concluded love as the supreme authority on life and have therefore joined in its cause. Love makes things right. I have spoken this to memorization, a mantra to warm your heart.

We are a day closer to US.

Others

I'm terrified. To call this an affair would demean our love, add a negative connotation to something that is so beautiful, pure, and real. In time people will want to categorize us. Put us in boxes. Me: the unfaithful wife. You: the other man. They will fail to see the dimensions of our love. I can't and will not fault them. The only person I fault is myself. I shouldn't have given up so easily those years back. I should have fought harder for our love. I was a coward. I'm sorry.